


Blue can be a cold color

by ShinyZorua



Series: Clouded [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, yea sorry felt like it had to be added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:04:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinyZorua/pseuds/ShinyZorua
Summary: Lance sometimes breaks down. The pressure of defending the universe and the pain of missing home, along with all his doubts and insecurities sometimes crash down on him. The others never noticed. Until one day.





	1. Stuck

**Author's Note:**

> I needed more Langst so hey here we go I hope this wasn't done before okay BAI

Another fight with the Garla. Another life-or-death situation. The normal stuff. 

The paladins and their lions got back to the Castle after the fight. When they all got back, Lance felt tired, but ignored the looming feeling of exhaustion as the team reflected on what happened, what went wrong, what should be changed and what went well. Lance was not really paying attention, earning him a small lecture from Allura. She understood his exhaustion, but reflection was important. If they didn’t fix mistakes, they would make them again. The fate of the whole universe was on their shoulders after all!  
_Like I didn’t know already…_

They all ate together and talked about other things, like jokes, and Pidge told them about something she discovered, but Lance was deep in thoughts. In the beginning, he was thinking about the mission, but then it got to one of the other missions where everything almost went wrong, and then the huge responsibilities on his shoulder, and then to the team. 

He had been looking at his goo meal when thinking, but got back to reality when he heard Hunk say his name. ‘W-What?’ Allura, Coran and Hunk were looking at him, while Pidge was telling Shiro about something nerdy and Keith was eating. 

‘I was telling about what my favourite places on Earth were when I asked yours. So what is it?’ Hunk stuffed another bite of the goo in his mouth as he and the Alteans looked at Lance. Lance didn’t have to think. 

_Home._

It was so easy, but so hard. Not having the chance to get back home. 

At the Garrison, he was still on Earth. He could go home. 

Now he can’t. And that’s what’s so hard. One of the reasons why being a paladin is so hard. 

He only realised that he’d been staring at Allura when Hunk waved his hand in front of his face. ‘Aww come on Lance, I thought you were over this!’ Keith said from his seat next to Lance. He, in response, blinked a couple times as he turned around to look at Keith. After a second or two, he sighed and got back to his bowl of goo. Keith shrugged and followed his example. 

Pidge and Hunk started talking to each other about their favourite spots on Earth and why this one was better than that one, and Shiro and Keith joined in. While Lance was slowly eating his goo, Allura asked Lance the same question Hunk asked earlier. He held his spoon tighter as he thought about his family. 

How far away they were. 

‘I don’t know, Earth…’ The princess tilted her head as Lance looked at her in the corner of his eyes, his head still lowered as she shoved another spoonful of goo in his mouth. ‘Is there a place on Earth called Earth?’ Hunk shook his head as Pidge shrugged and raised her hands. 

‘Anywhere specific?’ Shiro asked, and when Lance looked his way, he could see Keith giving him an irritated glare. It made him feel uneasy. Uncomfortable, even. Maybe a little out of place and unwanted, but he wasn’t sure of it. ‘Just, I don’t know, Earth!’ Why did they keep asking? Do they WANT him to suffer? 

_They hate me, they want me to be hurt._

He ignored the thought as Keith grunted and got back to eating. Shiro seemed to have lost some of his patience as well. 

Pidge put down her spoon as she said, ‘Lance, is it so hard to just name your favourite place?’ ‘Or did you forget already?’ Keith asked, still looking at his goo. That hid hard on Lance. Forgetting home? Never! How could they accuse him of something like that?! 

Lance stood up and slammed with his hands on the table, eyes focused on Keith’s every move. ‘You shut up you little sh-‘ Hunk quickly put his hand on Lance’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. ‘Nope, not doing this,’ Hunk said as he put Lance back into his chair. Lance’s face was still red but he had calmed down at least a little bit. 

‘Let’s not make any accusations, alright?’ Shiro said towards both Keith and Lance, not wanting things to escalate further. It was quiet for a moment as nobody knew what to say. 

‘Now, Lance, can you please answer the question?’ Allura asked, a smile on her face. Lance was not sure if it was fake or not. He assumed it was fake. He made himself think that it was fake. He believed it. Her smile was fake. 

He chuckled. ‘Why does it even matter?’ 

‘What do you mean?’ Coran asked, speaking for the others. 

‘It means that it doesn’t matter because I’m still stuck here with all of you and it doesn’t look like we’ll be going back anytime soon!’ He wasn’t thinking. He wasn’t thinking about what he was saying. He wasn’t thinking that it might hurt them. 

Pidge reacted first as it seemed like steam could come from her ears any second. ‘What do you mean stuck with us? Are we not good enough for you?’ She stood up and took a couple steps towards him. ‘Are we like a burden to you? Are we in your way?’ She stood in front of him as Lance had stood up, and even though he was looming over her, he felt small as she talked to him this way. He felt small as the others looked at him. But he would not show them that he felt small. 

He raised his hand to look taller and glanced down at the green paladin. ‘You don’t know what you’re saying…’ he said, trying to make himself sound confident. ‘No, YOU don’t know what you’re saying! Why don’t you just go and work solo? Then you can crank up that ego of yours just a little more!’ Lance clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. She didn’t know anything. Nobody knew anything. His face grew redder than it had been in a long time and when Shiro wanted to separate the two, Lance pushed away his chair with all strength he had and walked off. Off to Blue. ‘Lance come back!’ he heard Allura say. ‘Come on Lance, can’t we talk about this?’ Hunk asked, but Lance kept walking. His throat was shut, no words could get out. Not like he WANTED to talk, anyway. Then he heard alarms go off.


	2. When rain falls down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Give Lance his alone-time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first thing I had in mind for a Voltron fic and was the thing I was working towards. I am not sure what I'll do after this, but I do have a couple of ideas. Your imput is always welcome!

Apparently, the Castle of Lions came across a Galra fleet. And, of course, they were not friendly. The paladins had rushed to their lions, although they were already tired from the last fight. Luckily, the Galra fleet was not very well trained. It was most likely a cargo fleet with some fighters to look more impressive then to actually protect the fleet. 

So, the paladins didn’t have to work very hard to get the ships to retreat. The whole fight, Pidge was very aggressive and didn’t talk to Lance, nor did Keith. Lance just kept quiet and followed Shiro’s instructions. It was the best he could do, after all. To sum it up, it was exhausting. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

He wasn’t good enough. That was a thought that came through him many times during the fight. 

Finally, after what felt like ages though it hadn’t been very long, the lions got back to the Castle. As Lance and Blue sat in the hanger, he didn’t move. ‘Lance, you coming?’ Shiro asked through his helmet, as Lance slumped down in his seat. He didn’t want to see them now. He wanted to be alone. Alone with Blue. 

‘I’m coming soon, don’t wait for me.’ As the other paladins left, Lance put off his helmet and put it down on the control panel. He was alone. Only him and Blue. The one he could always trust, the one he could come to for comfort. 

He rested his arms on the control panel and shuddered. He felt tears prickling in his eyes. ‘I think that the others hate me now…’ He sniffed as tears started rolling down. With Blue, he knew he could cry. 

_They don’t, my paladin._

‘H-how could you think that? Of course they hate me!’ He sounded angry, but he was just confused. He sniffed again as he felt more and more tears and his breath was unsteady. ‘I-I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry Blue… I-I am just s-so tired, I d-don’t know w-what to do…’ 

_It’s alright, my paladin, trust me. I’m here for you…_

Lance sniffed again. ‘I just don’t know if I can do this anymore…’ Again, more tears. 

Blue didn’t say anything, but comforted him in her own way. By being there for him. By not leaving him alone. Lance had been sobbing for a couple minutes when he had calmed down. Blue purred as Lance gave a small ‘Thank you’ and stood up. He wiped the tears away and felt even more tired than earlier. He grabbed his helmet and left to go to his room. 

Sleep. He needed sleep. That’s the only thing he needs right now. Sleep. 

 

Shiro found Lance’s helmet laying in one of the corridors close to his room. He hasn’t seen him since the fight that happened an hour ago, and it made him feel uneasy. Lance had been acting strange, that’s for sure. Distant, too. 

Shiro was thinking about what might be wrong while looking at the helmet when Hunk came around the corner. ‘Shiro, why do you have Lance’s helmet?’ he asked, genuinely confused. Shiro looked his way and said: ‘It was laying on the ground, I honestly don’t know why.’ Hunk nodded and thought for a moment and then put up his finger as his face lit up. 

‘Hey, Pidge had installed recorders in the helmets, right? Maybe we can check what’s wrong!’ Shiro scratched his head. ‘Well, I think it would be useful to know what’s wrong with him… Alright, let’s get Pidge. She’ll know how it works.’ Hunk nodded and both paladins went to find Pidge. 

 

While walking through the hallways, Coran heard someone yelling. He followed the noise and came across Pidge and Lance. The blue paladin’s eyes were slightly red, which confused Coran. Pidge was yelling at Lance. 

‘-can’t even listen to me! Can’t you just once shut your mouth and keep it that way?’ 

‘Well, w-why don’t you, why don’t you just shut up!’ Lance seemed to be at a loss of words, at which Pidge huffed. ‘Cat got your tongue?’ 

Lance appeared to be clenching his teeth, but Coran wasn’t completely sure. ‘Paladins! Stop fighting this instance!’ Coran quickly ran forward and stood in between the two. Pidge was smirking at Lance, whose face was unreadable at the moment, although it was clear that he was exhausted. 

‘Alright, paladins, it’s been a long day, get some distraction, get some sleep, and then we’ll settle this all tomorrow!’ Lance gritted his teeth and walked away to his room. Pidge went to the other paladins as Coran got back to work. Coran didn’t see Lance throwing his helmet on the ground out of frustration. 

 

Pidge had put the audio files from the last day in her laptop as everybody, except for Lance of course, was looking at her screen. 

‘Alright, got it. This is all the data from today. Do you want to start from the beginning? I’ll put the sound on fast-forward because otherwise we’ll be sitting here for an hour or so.’ Pidge looked up from her screen and towards Shiro. He, in response, nodded and all of them listened to the audio. 

The first bit was from the first battle, and Pidge implemented a widget that made them skip large portions of silence, so that they quickly skipped to the second fight. 

Then, they heard him say something that they hadn’t heard before. It was from right after the second battle that day. Pidge paused the audio, put it out of fast-forward mode and got back a couple seconds. 

“I think the others hate me now…” Lance’s voice was weak. Soft, sad, powerless. The paladins and the Alteans listened closely to Lance’s voice as he sniffed. 

_Wait, what? Did he really think that? Why is he sad? This is nothing for him!_

Those thoughts ran through their minds as Lance talked again. “H-how could you think that? Of course they hate me!” Hunk flinched back when he heard the angry tone in his voice. He didn’t like seeing his friend angry. Or hear, in this case. 

Keith’s eyes had widened when he heard this. This was, nothing for Lance… 

Pidge looked down as she heard Lance crying. This was not the Lance she knew… was it? 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry Blue… I-I am just s-so tired, I d-don’t know w-what to do…” So he had been talking to his lion, the others thought. Allura looked away as she bit her lip and Coran ran a hand through his hair. 

“I just don’t know if I can do this anymore…” Lance’s voice was desperate. 

Shiro had not shown any emotions while listening to the audio the entire time, until now. Something inside him snapped and he stood up from his place next to Pidge. He could hear Lance crying as he walked a couple steps away. Lance had been feeling miserable and he, the leader, didn’t know? 

‘I’m such an idiot!’ he yelled as he punched the wall, startling the others. He lowered his head as the audio kept playing. Pidge had her hands clenched to fists as she held her eyes closed, Hunk was on the brink of tears, Coran was unsure of to do, (although he really just wanted to get to Lance and tell him that they still care about him and give him a hug until he felt better,) Allura looked at the ground, a guilty expression on her face, and Keith was deep in thoughts, not showing what he was thinking about. 

But when they heard Shiro yell, they had all turned around to see what was happening. ‘I should have known that Lance wasn’t alright! How did I not know?’ Keith walked up to Shiro and put a hand on his shoulder, getting his attention. ‘It’s not your fault, Shiro, none of us knew this.’ Hunk sniffed and faked a smile. ‘Yea, w-we all know that Lance is very good at hiding things!’ 

After a minute or so, as Pidge had already stopped the audio, they all sat down on the couch. 

‘Shouldn’t we like, go to Lance?’ Hunk asked, but Coran shook his head. ‘I think it’s better for him to rest for now, don’t we agree?’ Some of them nodded, some stayed quiet. 

‘Should we tell him that we know?’ Hunk again broke the silence. He was very concerned about his friend. Shiro shook his head. 

‘Why not?’ Pidge asked, in a bit of a desperate tone. ‘How do you think that’ll make him feel? That we know about how HE feels?’ Keith had joined in the conversation, to the surprise of the others. Shiro nodded at the red paladin and looked at the others. ‘We need to be more careful with the words that we choose. Make him feel more comfortable, more appreciated.’ 

Pidge slumped back a bit in her place on the couch, looking at the floor. She felt guilty for yelling at him earlier that day. In the corridors, and in the dining room. ‘I need to make it up to him as quick as possible…’ 

Hunk put his hand on her shoulder, which made Pidge jump up slightly. The yellow paladin smiled at her and she slumped back in her seat. ‘Don’t worry, we all will, but not now. Then he’ll catch on that we know about what happened earlier.’ Shiro spoke. ‘We must take it slow, I think.’ 

Allura nodded. ‘Yes, just, be nice to him. Make him feel safe with us. Try and get him to open up more.’ Everybody agreed with what the princess said, and they all went to their rooms to rest. Today has not only been a tough day for Lance…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised that I would upload today! Well, technically I promised that I'd upload when I'd get home, but that kinda didn't happen, but alrighty! Hope you enjoyed! (I'm a sucker for Langst. Lance is the most precious Cuban boi and NEEDS HUGS AND A PILLOW FORT RIGHT AWAY!)


	3. Taking our time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We need some happiness. 
> 
> Short chapter, but I have some nice things planned for the next chapter! Although I did get a lot of help in creating the scenario by sleepinginatincan! I'm really thankful for that! 
> 
> I'll start writing as soon as the next chapter of my Camp Camp fic is out! (Maybe a bit earlier if I don't have wifi but who cares!)

The next day started normal for Lance. After he had taken a shower and made sure that he looked alright, he walked into the dining room. He was still tired from the day before, but he knew that if he didn’t show up in time, Allura would give him another lecture again. And he really wasn’t in for that. 

When he arrived in the dining room, everybody was already sitting at the table, talking to each other. 

What was different, however, was that all of them went quiet when he entered the scene. He quietly made his way to the free chair and sat down. 

‘How have you been sleeping, Lance?’ Allura asked, and it seemed like she genuinely wanted to know. ‘Well, I slept fine? Thanks.’ He looked at the bowl of goo in front of him and took a bite. Boy, was he hungry. 

Pidge spoke next. ‘Uhh, Lance, do you want to go watch a movie tonight? We thought it would be nice to have a movie-night with all of us. If you want to, of course!’ That sounded, very nice actually! Lance’s eyes lit up as he looked her way. ‘Yes, that sounds awesome!’ He didn’t notice all the others’ faces light up after that. 

After breakfast, everything was a bit different. They all kept looking at Lance in this weird way, but he couldn’t describe it. There was always someone at his side, except for when he needed to go to the toilet of course. 

Hunk told him about a new recipe he wanted to try, Pidge asked him for suggestions for the movie night, Shiro taught him a new move Lance could do with his bayard, Coran showed him something from Altea, and Allura talked to him about what a nice day it was and things alike. 

And Keith… He had been less… distant. He looked at him differently, the slight anger had seemed to fade a little. That made Lance feel way better. 

When it became time for movie night, Pidge installed the system they needed to watch the movie. Hunk had bought a movie from Earth once while in an old antique shop, called The Pacifier. Lance, Pidge and Hunk knew that one, as Pidge watched it once with her family and Hunk and Lance once had a movie night similar to this one with that movie. 

Once the movie was ready, Hunk had made his snacks and everyone was seated, (after explaining to Allura and Coran what a movie night was,) they started the film. 

Shortly into the movie, the room was filled with jokes and laughs. Everybody seemed to enjoy the movie, and it felt nice to Lance to have some time with the others, without them fighting each other or the Galra empire. In the last minutes of the movie, Lance’s eyes became damp, but luckily everybody’s eyes were focused on the movie to see it. That would be an embarrasment, wouldn’t it? Crying in front of his team. 

When the movie was done, they kept talking to each other for a bit about the best moments in the movie and how something related to their own lives. It had become late and Coran decided it would be best for everybody to take some rest, at which Shiro and Allura agreed. Although the others didn’t agree, our space uncle still managed to get them all to go to their own rooms for some well-needed sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be called "Ikanaide".
> 
> (Also Lance almost cries because the movie ends with some cute family moments and that reminds him of home, something that will impact him next chapter.)


	4. Ikanaide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New day, new planet, old memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter’s plot (and some very nice details) were created by sleepinginatincan, and not me, because I was kind of out of inspiration at the moment. I want to thank sleepinginatincan again for helping me with this, and boy you are evil for making this plot. The only thing I really did was write around it and stuff and making it just a bit angstier cause that’s what I do!

The next day, Allura announced that they would go on a peacemaker mission on a nearby planet, called Samurda, that Altea was once allies with. Everybody agreed, as allies would be more than useful at this moment, so after properly cleaning their armour, which was accustom on Samurda, they arrived at the planet with the Castle of Lions. 

As soon as the paladins walked out, a nice breeze welcomed them, and sand flew up. They had landed on the beach, as it was the only calm place that was still close to the castle. It was actually right next to it! The planet looked like a summer reservoir, palm-like trees on one side of the beach, and clear, blue water on the other. The sand was soft and the air was fresh, dragging the smell of some kind of dish along with it. The sky was as clear as the water and the paladins and Alteans heard someone talk on the right of them. One of the assistants of the king and queen had to pick them up, they remembered. The royals would only let them in if they were accepted by the assistant. 

The assistant check all of them quickly, if their armour was clean such, but Lance did not pay much attention. He looked at the beach and felt himself relax just a little bit. It was a beautiful sight to say the least. 

He didn’t realise how much time went by until he felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulder. He looked at the black paladin as he spoke, in a soothing tone, ‘You coming? We can go back here after the meeting, alright?’ Lance nodded after a couple seconds and put up a smile as he started making all kinds of goofy jokes to lift the spirits of the others. 

The meeting took about an hour, in which Allura was the one speaking the most. The king and queen mostly nodded, while asking a few questions. At the end, when the royals had consulted with their advisers, they agreed to work together with the Alteans and paladins of Voltron. They would address some details later, but for now, the meeting with the king and queen was done. 

As the paladins walked out of the castle, Lance felt the breeze waving past his face as Hunk and Pidge looked at Shiro and Allura with pleading eyes. Shiro sighed and Allura smiled, Shiro giving the yellow and green paladins a thumbs-up. Pidge ran towards the beach and Hunk quickly followed her. They were still in their armour, but right now, it probably didn’t matter to them, Lance thought. He caught Keith smiling at the two running at the water, and they slowly followed as well. 

There were a couple of rocks near the water, so Lance decided to sit on one of them. Coran jumped down on a rock next to him, while Keith, Shiro and Allura joined the other paladins in the water. Pidge had started a water fight with Keith and Hunk joined. Luckily for the red paladin, he had Shiro on his side. Allura joined Pidge and Hunk and all of them laughed and played and had fun. 

Lance smiled softly, and he was sure that Coran was doing the same as the Altean stood up. ‘You want to join?’ he asked Lance, but he shook his head after a couple seconds. Coran nodded and walked off the rocks, helping Keith and Shiro, as they were outnumbered. 

Lance sat there, looking at the six of them, and smiled again. It all felt so familiar. So much like home. 

Home.

He looked at the horizon, wondering how far it reached. He felt a calmness taking him over. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

He kept sitting there until his friends were done. They waved at him, but he didn’t stand up. He didn’t want to leave. ‘Lance, we have to go! What if there’s a distress signal and we’re not able to help?’ 

Allura’s words stung for a little bit. He had to go back. Back into space, into the unfamiliar, the unknown. Yes, he loved exploring all the new kinds of planets, but he also wanted to stay here. Even for just a minute. 

But he couldn’t. 

His friends, the whole universe was counting on him. He forced himself to stand up, even though it hurt him so much. He looked at the horizon once more. It was beckoning for him to stay. If was like he left home once again. Like he betrayed his family once more. 

He had to go. 

It hurt so much, but he had to obey. He turned his head around, forcing himself not to look back, as he put up a smile and followed the other paladins. They got back to the castle and Lance shut himself up in his room, not wanting to look out one of the windows again until they were far away from this planet. He couldn’t bear to look at it once more. He couldn’t look back as he left the place that looked and felt so much like home. He couldn’t make himself get hurt more. 

He couldn’t. 

He had people counting on him. 

And that was a huge weight on his shoulders that he had never wanted to bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long as my first chapters, but I loved it nontheless. I don't have much time/inspiration as I'm teaching myself to play the ukulele (with the use of the internet of course, plus some help from my mom as she plays the violin). I want to continua writing on this for at least one or two chapters, and then make stories for the others. At this rate, Hunk will be first.


	5. Please don't go part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go wrong
> 
> (Edit: 2k views! WOO!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up in a few days and if it is not up by wednesday you are allowed to yell at me
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLJ6r8mBPJc

A couple days had passed. They had to fight off the Galra, visit some plants, the normal stuff. 

The next morning, all of them took a seat at the dining table. To Lance, the last days were going… better. He doesn’t know why though. 

Also, his team has been acting differently, but not in a bad way. Though sometimes they’d give him this weird look which he could not place. Something in the back of his mind said pity, but he knew that that couldn’t be it. No way. 

They were all talking happily and eating a nice meal that Coran had provided for them, when that one, haunting subject popped up again. His family. Home. 

Hunk was talking about recipes, when he mentioned Lance’s mother. Of course, the others started asking about it. ‘We never hear you talk about your family, now that I think of it,’ Pidge said as she held her chin in her hand, ‘What are they like?’ 

Lance tensed up and looked at her, shrugging after a couple seconds. ‘Eh, nothing special…’ He turned towards his food, trying to make it clear that their conversation was over, but Hunk wasn’t done. ‘Nothing special? Really? They are amazing!’ 

Hunk started bragging about Lance’s mother’s cooking, about how cool his dad was, how nice his siblings were, while Lance kept staring at his food, suddenly not hungry anymore. This wasn’t anything like his mother’s cooking. 

He pushed the plate away slightly and looked out of the corner of his eyes at the others. They were all listening to Hunk, and he just kept talking, and every word started to feel like daggers were stabbing at his heart and like a brick that kept hitting his head over and over again. ‘A-Alright Hunk, I think they know it by now…’

But he wasn’t done. ‘But they are so amazing! I remember when I first visited and your mother showed me pictures of you as a baby. They really don’t know what shame means.’ Hunk chuckled, most likely because of the image of Lance as a baby as he was hanging upside-down on the couch with a stuffed animal in his mouth, and Lance put his hands in his hair.  
Nobody seemed to notice. 

Shiro shook his head and smiled. ‘You don’t have to be ashamed of those pictures, Lance, everybody has them!’ _Except Keith._ ‘His aunt is also really nice. She invited Lance and me over once and she has a big garden,’ Hunk spread out his arms, ‘and then let us play with her dog. And then you haven’t even heard about his uncle!’ 

This was becoming too much for Lance. Without saying anything, he stood up as fast as possible and walked out, not looking at any of them. He felt tears welling up in his eyes as he left, but he sucked it up like he usually did. Now that he was walking through the halls, he thought about where he should go. He couldn’t just walk back in like nothing happened, that would be awkward for all of them and they would all start to ask questions. Should he go to his room then? No. they would find him easily. 

He looked around the halls and felt cold hands clasp his heart.  
He didn’t want to be here.  
He wanted to go home.  
But he couldn’t. 

Then he thought about their peace mission a couple days ago. About Samurda. He wanted to be there, right now! He wanted to feel the breeze through his hair, smell the salt of the sea, hear the leaves of the trees on the other side of the beach rustle. It was just like home, and home is what he needed. 

He made his way towards Blue, getting faster and faster as time progressed, but didn’t put on his armour. That wouldn’t be needed anyway. Samurda was a peaceful planet and he wasn’t visiting the royals. He took place in Blue’s chair and took a deep breath. He didn’t have his helmet on, so he couldn’t communicate with the other paladins. Not like he wanted to anyways… 

‘Let’s go, beauty,’ Lance said, before they left the Castle of Lions. 

 

‘Uh, guys…’ Hunk was staring out of one of the windows of the Castle, while Pidge was tapping her index finger on the table, Coran was cleaning up, Allura was talking with the mice, Shiro was pacing, and Keith was, just being Keith (A.K.A. standing in a corner and acting all anti-social while thinking about something). Though when Hunk had started talking, they all looked his way. 

Hunk pointed at the window and gave them a worried look. ‘I think that Lance just left with Blue.’ Pidge and Allura both said ‘WHAT?’ as Shiro clenched his fists. ‘I knew I should have followed him.’ 

‘Why did he leave again?’ Coran asked, still confused about the whole conversation they had just now. ‘I think one of us said something wrong,’ Keith said, and though everybody knew that the “one of us” was Hunk, nobody said it, as they didn’t want Hunk to feel guilty. 

_Again._

‘Where did he head of to?’ Shiro asked, and Allura stood up. ‘I’ll locate the Blue lion,’ she said, and she walked towards the control room. The others followed her example as they got to their lions. Allura started typing as fast as she could as the others got to the hangers. ‘We need to get to him before he gets in trouble…’

 

But they were too late. Lance was already in trouble. 

He still had the coordinates of Samurda, but while flying there, he came across a Galra fleet. Nothing he couldn’t handle, you would think, but they called backup. Fighters left and right, shots everywhere, he started to lose sight of the situation. 

Normally, this many fighters wouldn’t be a problem, but he was almost never alone. Voltron worked as a team, and if he wasn’t part of Voltron, then he was just a leg. A leg with nothing and nobody to belong to. And one leg alone can’t walk. 

He got hit again, and he regretted not having put on his armour. And another hit, making him change direction, and then another, which caused Blue to tumble forwards. Lance knew he had to get away from the fighters. He tried flying away but kept getting hit. He couldn’t see where he was going, all he could see was red lights as he couldn’t focus. Everything was blurry and he needed to leave and he just wanted to go home and he wanted to cry- 

Then, something big hit him, probably a lasor of some sort. He lost control of his lion as he almost fell out of his chair and tried his best to remain seated. Before he knew it, he was tumbling down onto a strange planet, holding onto his lion as best as he could. He could hear shots in the distance, and some of them sounded different from the fighters. He just couldn’t make the connections...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already working on next chapter, so just you wait! I may make a sequel to Blue can be a cold color, but first, we'll have a story about our favorite Yellow Paladin!
> 
> (We will also have stories about the others don't worry I need a fanfiction with Pidge as main character as she is my fav and not only because she is a girl)
> 
> (Also I just got really hyper while writing these notes out of nowhere, probs because I really want to work on these others things but _I STILL NEED TO WORK ON THE LONELY AU HELP ME_ )


	6. Please don't go part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uploaded before wednesday! *Pats herself on the back*
> 
> As of the summery, there's nothing to say about this chapter, really. It's what you'd expect AND MORE!
> 
> *Evil laughter sounding distant*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this chapter was going to be short, (somewhere around 1000 words is always my goal and it would have been best for this chapter to be just that or below slightly,) but I just kept on adding (now it's 2272 words) and I LOVED writing this one.

The Blue Lion was laying on the ground, waiting for Lance’s orders, as her Paladin opened his eyes. He didn’t know where he was, only that he was on a strange planet. He took in the landscape: mostly rocks with grass growing through, a forest far away with pine-like shapes, a couple of bushes giving the grey land more color, and a huge mountain to his left with snow on the top. He took a deep breath and asked Blue where they are. 

_‘We are on Petram, my paladin.’_ Her voice (or whatever it was) was soothing and made him sit back, relaxing a bit. _‘Not so fast,’_ she said and a couple seconds later, they heard ships fly past. Lance tensed up and looked around. Ships started shooting at them and he steered Blue to go the other way. As she ran, they got hit multiple times, and Blue tumbled over. 

Lance steadied himself and looked at the sky as a lasor was pointed at them, ready to fire, when the cruiser gets pushed aside by something yellow, followed by a red thing shooting at it. As he looks to his left he something similar to the yellow and red thing, but then green, shooting at the fighters. And then a black one, destroying fighter after fighter. 

The Lions.  
The Paladins.  
His teammates. 

He shakes his head and Blue stands up, roaring as she turns around to their pursuers. She ran at them, shooting them out of the air as her Paladin directed her every move. Blue was still getting hit once in a while, and Lance started getting dizzy until he felt out of the chair. Not having his armor was not helping one bit, either. 

Blue stopped in her tracks, not moving until her Paladin was seated again, as she didn’t want to harm him any further. Lance was thankful for that, and with a bruised arm and a headache he looked around the sight. He couldn’t really focus on anything, probably because he was tired, but who cares. He had to destroy the fighters before they hurt his team! 

 

‘Guys, help Lance! He doesn’t have his armor with him!’ Shiro was giving commands at his teammates as they fended off the Galra ships. 

‘We’re trying, Shiro,’ Keith said as he turned around crush a Galra fighter with Red’s jaws. It exploded and the remains fell to the planet below, raining on the Galra troops that were probably there to scout the area, when their routine was disturbed by the attendance of the Blue Lion. 

Hunk was watching the Blue Lion as it was under heavy attack, and yelled at Shiro, ‘What should we do? Blue is still damaged from last fight!’ 

_Shit._  
Hunk was right. 

‘And he has no armor! If anything happens, he’ll have a concussion for sure!’ Pidge had joined the conversation, worried about her normally goofy friend. Shiro was thinking about the options when Keith shouted over the speakers: 

‘Lance! Manoeuvre 41!’ Shiro widened his eyes in shock and looked Red’s way. ‘Why did you say that?’ He said over the helmets, at which Keith responded the same way. ‘We can’t risk Lance being damaged! We need him to form Voltron!’ 

_And I want him to be okay because I care about him._  
But he didn’t say that.

‘The Galra will be tricked and then we strike!’ Though Keith wasn’t aware about the Galra troops below. In fact, none of the Paladins (or Alteans for that matter) had noticed. Shiro frowned but got back to fighting, still keeping an eye on Blue, who was now running towards the forest. As she reached the trees, she bowed down for a couple seconds before standing up again and turning around, attacking every Galra ship in her sight. 

Keith’s trick worked. The fighters kept aiming for Blue, but Keith’s trick worked. Manoeuvre 41 was leaving the Lion and finding a safe place to hide, mostly used when a Paladin was wounded. And the best thing was, that none of the Galra knew. They had no idea what Manoeuvre 41 meant, which was the whole point about the strategy. Cause confusion, use the confusion to your advantage, and have the Paladin safe and sound. 

They hoped it would go like that, at least.

 

As soon as Lance reached the woods, Blue lowered her head and Lance jumped out. He looked at Blue for a few seconds and she turned around, Lance knowing that she wanted him to hide. He ran into the woods, stumbling once in a while due to him not being able to focus on his surroundings, and once he reached the deepest part of the woods, he let himself take a moment to breathe. He didn’t have his armor, or his bayard for that matter, but surely, nobody was here to attack him! Right? 

Wrong. Galra troops had followed him on foot, now coming closer as he didn’t hear them over the sound of the fighters and Lions. ‘Surrender or be destroyed!’ Lance’s head shot up as he looked in the direction of the sounds. 

Four Galra troops stood there, aiming their guns at him, who had no weapon or defences whatsoever. 

_Shit._

He noticed that two of the troops had different guns, and realised that they had to be tranquilisers of some sort. He heard Allura talk about them before. Now he really didn’t want to be hit by one of those things. Not only because it hurt, which it did just as much as any gun until it started working, but because it made him powerless. 

So he looked around him, trying to find the best route to escape, but he heard them take a couple steps forward. He turned to face them again, putting his hands on a tree behind him. The fir needle look-alike leaves only started about 2 meters in, and the trunk was broad and not completely round like normal trees. He didn’t have anything he could use to protect himself, as all the sticks were tiny and broke with the least amount of effort and most of the rocks in the forest were the size of a raisin. 

So he had to outsmart them. Even though his heart bumped loudly in his chest, and his breathing had sped up, and he still felt like shit. 

So he did the first thing that came up to him. ‘Alright, alright, I give up,’ he said, trying his best to sound as calm as possible as the troops walked closer, still holding their guns close. One with a normal gun lowered his weapon and grabbed a pair of Galra-handcuffs, and Lance took advantage of that. 

He grabbed the Galra’s gun in a swift motion he had almost perfected and punched him with his elbow, although it probably hurt Lance more than the Galra. Not that he would admit it…

He raised the gun and took a couple steps back as he shot the now-unarmed Galra. He directly looked the way of the other troops and shot the first one in sight, who had a tranquiliser-gun. 2 left, 2 more to go. But before he could celebrate, he was getting shot at by the remaining tranquiliser-gunned opponent. 

He tried to avoid the shots, but before he knew it, he was hit somewhere in his arm and he felt his muscles losing strength by the second. After about 10 seconds of panicking, Lance fell to the ground, his legs stopped moving and the gun falling from his hands as the tranquiliser did its work. Lance was lucky that only his limbs were being numbed and not his head, or he might not be able to breathe. He wasn’t sure, he never paid attention to biology. Or he just forgot. He didn’t even know anymore. 

As he faintly felt his body being hauled upwards, he could see the Lions flying in the air, having cleared out almost all of the fighters. 

But they didn’t see him. 

They didn’t notice him, now that he needed it the most. That hurt. 

His teammates.  
His friends.  
They had left him alone. 

He reached out his hand with all the strength he had left as he screamed for help. He didn’t want to be taken by the Galra, their enemy. He didn’t want to fight in arena’s or get experimented on, or live the rest of his life as a slave just like the people he wanted to protect. He screamed out again, and felt tears building up in his eyes, the fear in his voice raised after thinking about all those terrible options that were now open to him. 

Tears fell from his eyes as he screamed, ‘PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE!’ He never thought he would ever say it out loud, let alone yell it. But he didn’t even know if they heard him. 

He couldn’t see the Lions anymore, leaves blocked his vision as the two still-intact Galra troops dragged him away on a pop-up branchard, saying something that he couldn’t understand. He was dragged away, body numb as tears streaming down his face, completely alone and helpless. 

 

After a minute or so when the only thing he heard were his own soft cries for help, that were almost whispers, he heard a mighty roar, followed by four other roars, and he felt the ground shake and the trees swing as the Lions of Voltron surrounded the two Galra troops. They knew they didn’t stand a chance. 

The Lions all bowed down to let their Paladins out, who ran at the Galra with the most furious of expressions they have ever had. Lance could also hear the Castle of Lions landing not too far away, but he couldn’t keep his eyes of his rescuers. 

Before he knew it, one of the Galra was on the ground and dragged away with Pidge’s bayard, and when the creature got close enough, Hunk hit him as hard as he could, leaving the Galra on the ground, not moving. He and Pidge gave each other a quick high-five and then returned to look at Lance and the remaining Galra. 

Of course, he already knew it was game-over, but he tried running anyway. He dropped Lance to the ground and sprinted away, but Keith and Shiro were furious and if they were furious, they could run as faster than anybody. Lance could only hear a loud scream from behind him, followed with a loud -clang- and a -thud-. 

He heard footsteps coming closer, and before he knew it, he was sitting up with Pidge and Hunk on one side and Shiro on the other, Keith not sure where to take his place, so he just sat on the ground in front of him. 

Lance felt another sob go through his body as he felt Hunk and Shiro’s arms supporting him as Pidge’s hand was laying on his leg, hoping it would comfort him. The Paladins were at a loss for words as they saw Lance break down like that. 

‘Shh buddy, it’s alright,’ Shiro said in a soothing voice as he embraced Lance. He could not hug back, but that didn’t matter. He also wouldn’t ask for a hug, so he was very happy at the offer. He let his head rest on Shiro’s shoulder as he felt Hunk and Pidge hug him as well, with a hand rubbing his back softly. It must have been Keith’s. 

‘I’m so scared,’ Lance whispered into Shiro’s shoulder, the sobs racking his body not stopping anytime soon. ‘I just want to go home, I miss them all so much…’ 

Now, the secret was out. He didn’t really mean to, but after telling them that, he felt relieved. At least one less burden for him to bear. He heard more footsteps and felt the embrace grow stronger as Coran and Allura joined in. The Paladins removed their helmets, while still holding Lance, who’s sobs started to soften as the Blue Lion loomed over them, as if to protect them. 

_‘It’s alright, Paladin, you’re alright, you're save…’_ Lance believed every word of it. He whispered, ‘Thank you, Blue,’ but it was barely audible. He wasn’t sure if the others heard it, but if they did, then they didn’t let it show. 

As his breathing had calmed down and the tears had stopped rolling down his cheeks, Lance grew silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. None of them knew what to say at a moment like this. He looked at the people around him, they all smiled at him. 

‘I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen me like this…’ Allura shook her head as she moved to sit next to Shiro. ‘It’s alright, Lance, we know…’ Lance stared at her with disbelief, and Shiro nodded. ‘We heard you that one time, in Blue. I’m sorry we had kept it a secret for you…’ 

But Lance could only smile. They were here to help him. That’s why they all acted so weird. 

‘You wanna get up buddy?’ Hunk asked, but Lance shook his head. 

_His teammates._

He leaned his head on Hunk’s shoulder and let the tears drop down his face, not caring about them seeing him like this anymore. Not now. 

_His friends._

‘Thank you, thanks you,’ he whispered over and over again as he felt himself being embraced. They held him tight as Blue purred and for the first time in so long, he felt completely happy. These tears were not from sadness or pain. They were from relief and happiness. He was saved. 

_His family._

He was saved by his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally he was just going to land on the planet, all alone and being all sad and depressed and stuff, with the Paladings coming on the planet and him realising that he isn't and was never alone, and them hugging and much cry. Now, it's basically the same but with THE FUCKING GALRA RUÏNING EVERYTHING.
> 
> What's next? Hunk. I already know _what_ I want, or at least the rough outlines of it. I want to make some drawings for this fic, too. Also, comments are really appreciated as they bright up my day and make me want to write more! (And keep me from forgetting about this)
> 
> Shameless self-promotion: my Tumblr is tatorqueen.tumblr.com and I want to post some things on there like art and stuff related to this fic. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this project, that started out as just a small thought. I hope I entertained you all (and/or made you cry internally or externally) and can't wait to continue on with this project! Thank you so much for your support! :'3

**Author's Note:**

> I mean I have no idea what peeps will think about this so here you go enjoy. Hopefully, I can upload the next chapter tomorrow as I already have some fun ideas! And with fun I mean tear-inducing! Just like we want!


End file.
